Judgement arises from fear: the fear of not being enough which is a common affliction among people.
“What will your aunt think if you dress up like this?”
“Trim your hair properly, else everyone will think you are a spoilt brat”
These utterances somehow imbibe us with a fear of judgment.
There is no point in blaming our parents as, generation after generation we were taught to follow the societal norms. Every one of us holds a basic instinct of fitting-in society. This is where the fear of judgment engulfs and taunts us.
Negative effects of being judged:
- We lose our self-esteem.
- We tend to lie more or act differently because of the fear of being judged.
- We may turn out to become a people-pleaser.
Things to keep in mind while being judged:
- Acceptance: It takes great endurance to accept ourselves the way we are. The flaws are what make us unique. When we make peace with our persona and are able to love ourselves, no judgment can bother us.
- It’s not about us: If someone says crummy statements, intending to slump us, remember, it is never about us. People tend to project their fears and shortcomings onto others just to make themselves feel better. Trust that it has nothing to do with us.
- Triggers: The pettifogging comments our parents or caregivers make while we were young turns out to become our self-belief. As an adult, while someone stances on the same lines, we tend to get triggered. It is pre-eminent to work on those beliefs to get over the fear of being judged.
- It’s not etched: Sometimes people tend to judge us in a negative state of mind, sometimes, it could even be a mindless comment. There is no point in paying heed or mulling over a dim-witted comment which can eventually pass away from everyone’s mind.
- You feel what you want to feel: No one can hurt us unless we allow it. It is important to become resilient enough to not let other’s judgment bother us. Let’s accept that judgments are unavoidable and it is pointless to act upon them. No one has the right to judge us when they don’t know what we have been through.
- Accept: Whatever we do, we will inevitably get judged. They can be positive or negative. Owing to the vast difference in cultural upbringings, we have people with multifarious mindsets and judgment is certain. Instead of acting on it or trying to prove ourselves, we need to accept them as a part of life and proceed with our life.
Anything can bother us only when we accede them. Acceptance, self-love, and self-compassion can help us get over the fear of being judged.
Sanjana Bafna Ranka is the founder of The Equilibrium.
Tags –Judgement | FearMental | HealthMental | Wellness | Acceptance |Self-Esteem | Self Love